A Day In The Life Of An Ambulance Driver - Latest Comments in Anniversaries, Part II

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

phil — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 02:00:00 -0000

my only compliant about you is that you dont update often enough. i cant even put into words the way you connect . thank you, and... just thank you.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 09:55:00 -0000

Dang shame polyandry isn't accepted int this society. (or just about ANY society, for that matter.)< />< />She loves you both. Is that so wrong?< />< />You two sound as though you would make excellent co-husbands if any it weren't too weird for all parties to cope with.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

kevin — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:32:00 -0000

amazing story. kept me captivated the whole time. same emotional pull as Crystal's "Chronicles" at Boobs (how I found your blog).

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

kevin — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:32:00 -0000

amazing story. kept me captivated the whole time. same emotional pull as Crystal's "Chronicles" at Boobs (how I found your blog).

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 13:33:00 -0000

Hey there, friend. Been a while since I stopped by. Wow...you just keep getting better and better! I miss ya, and am glad KatyBeth is doing so well.< />< />AD, what you write here is powerful stuff. Heard the overview before, but you still made me cry. And I am still workin' to get you on Oprah...< />< />Diesel Queen

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 13:33:00 -0000

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Andrea — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 14:47:00 -0000

AD... in your post, you mentioned that you helped your ex recognize her destructive patterns, and nudged her to rewrite those scripts that contributed to the demise of your relationship. How wonderful of you to do that.< />< />Just a question.. have you done the same for your own pattern of withdrawal ? Have you faced that demon and started working towards rewriting that script; the very script that caused you to withdraw from your wife, at the time that you both needed to turn towards each other instead ?< />< />Every relationship, every interaction happens for a reason, and there is much that we can learn from each one. This is no exception.< />< />If we can emerge from each situation stronger, and become better people and better partners, then none of the time and heartache could ever be wasted.< />< />Something to think about. :)

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Andrea — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 14:47:00 -0000

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

KK — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 11:36:00 -0000

There is iron in your words.......

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

KK — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 11:36:00 -0000

There is iron in your words.......

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:06:00 -0000

I envy you. You still get to talk to her.< />< />Ray

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:06:00 -0000

I envy you. You still get to talk to her.< />< />Ray

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Fire Fox — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:35:00 -0000

If anyone ever writes a manual on how to have a sucessful relationship... this will have to be part of it.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Fire Fox — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:35:00 -0000

If anyone ever writes a manual on how to have a sucessful relationship... this will have to be part of it.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:07:00 -0000

Wow! AD... Thank you, not only for bearing your soul but also for the much needed slap in the face to pull my head out of the clouds. My husband and I share so many similarities with your story (our careers being the most obvious right on down to the evolution of the relationship). I can't seem to make the tears stop right now probably because the personality traits you described are also hauntingly similar. We have several more years invested than you, but luckily before we completely gave up, we actually forced ourselves to have a conversation, which was very difficult for both of us. I am happy to report that over a year has passed and many improvements have been made on both sides. It's still a work in progress though. He still doesn't communicate as well as he should and I sometimes internalize feelings. But I've quit obsessing about work (my way of dealing with things), and we both truly seem to be happier people. My biggest obstacle is knowing that he talked to several people about our troubles and I said nothing to anyone. Of course, as would be expected, I'm sure I was always the bad guy from his perspective, so I am having a very difficult time keeping company with anyone who heard his side. Even though I know it's not possible, nor would I honestly expect it, I can't help but feel like I deserve a public apology because our troubles were not all my fault. They were caused by years of resentment on both sides building up a little bit at a time and not dealing with the small things when they were important. < />< />So there, your amazing post is directly responsible for my finally letting those feelings be known. Figures it would have to be on the web. ;)

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:07:00 -0000

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Rogue Medic — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:30:00 -0000

As many have written, a story that is too familiar for a lot of us. < />< />I am surprised at TOTWTYTR. I thought you two did a dog and pony show.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Rogue Medic — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:30:00 -0000

As many have written, a story that is too familiar for a lot of us. < />< />I am surprised at TOTWTYTR. I thought you two did a dog and pony show.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

TheRedHead Who Reads — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:11:00 -0000

AD, I read Part I and then checked back daily for Part II and it sure hits home with me. Sounds like my first marriage - only no children in that situation and we logged in 23 years together...as we went through one disaster to the next nonstop. Anything and everything that could go wrong - did. Sometimes you can only take so much. Our divorce was quick - 6 months and it was a done deal and we each had our freedom. < />< />I was angry about a lot of things for a while. I told my father that men were JERKS (except him of course)! He very gently gave me some wise advice - "Not every man is a jerk. There are nice guys out there. Don't judge all men by the one you just divorced. Don't lose your faith." < />< />I'm now coming up on 5 years of divorce and haven't seen my ex in 4 years, which is fine. He needs to figure out what he wants from life. In 23 years, we moved 15 times - and no, he wasn't in the military. He always got bored with his jobs, where we lived and everything eventually, including me. He was never happy. So now he has to figure out things for himself and do some hard work and soul searching. < />< />Me? How did I end up after all this? Well, I'm happy to say my father was right! (Thanks, Dad!) I had a very charming and wonderful landlady who was a matchmaker at heart and darn sneaky about it, too. (LOL) She had a hardworking and kind-hearted man who worked doing apartment maintenance and yard work for her and her husband. She had a feeling we ought to be introduced, thought we'd be good for one another. He was fixing up the new apartment that I was moving into while Mrs. Landlady showed me the apartment. I liked his attitude and quick wit - and I knew he was Trouble, full of mischief and would keep me on my toes. He saw my humor and intelligence right off and liked what he saw. He's not the kind of guy to let an opportunity pass him by. He surprised me by asking me out immediately that same day. < />< />To make a long story short, we dated, fell in love at a rock concert, and after four years of being together, we ended up getting married. We just celebrated our first anniversary together. It's his first marriage - but I know this time around that I've got a true partner in every sense. < />< />We have a great partnership together - he's a terrific friend, wonderfully sweet husband, hilariously fun guy to hang out with. We work hard and then make sure we get to rock concerts, go to minor league baseball games, visit friends and family, and just make time for fun and for us! My gal friends all say I'm lucky and does he have a brother? (LOL) I know he's got my back and I've certainly got his. We can count on each other in every way. < />< />He goes above and beyond for me to keep me happy. Last year my favorite cat died from kidney failure and I was heartbroken about it. Well, he had been saving up for a snow blower and instead he planned a huge surprise for my birthday by sneaking around with my family and friends about it, and he ended up buying for me a very special silver Maine Coon kitten which he gave to me at a surprise birthday party. He told me that he'd rather shovel snow all winter and put up with a back ache than to see me sad; that I needed a special kitten more than he needed the snow blower. Of course we had a ton of snow last winter up here in the Northeast and oh - did he shovel! Every day, I've thanked him for this special kitten who did heal my broken heart and is now a huge silver shaggy cat, who keeps us laughing all the time at his antics. < />< />That's the kind of guy he is - he'd do anything for me and I've never had that kind of love and support before. I realize now what I had been missing for all those years before in my first marriage - and I'm so very lucky to have found it in my second (and last) marriage. < />< />Trust me, AD, that there IS someone special out there for you - and you'll find her when the timing is right, most likely when you least expect to. < />< />Thanks for writing and sharing such a deeply personal post with your readers. A lot of us can relate to it but certainly can't put it into words like you do - you're really gifted. :D

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

TheRedHead Who Reads — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 01:11:00 -0000

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 22:33:00 -0000

Man I read your blog from time to time and it is quality stuff. This post was earth shattering for me. I had my divorce 4 years ago but I swear to God you were writing the story of my failed relationship with the ex wife.< />< />You encapsulated many of the feelings and observations I have about my own failings as a husband. I feel like this was a message sent to me directly, as I am engaged to be married again this June and I have been wondering if I will repeat some of the same mistakes the second time around.< />< />This is no small story, this is great writing. Thank you. It certainly impacted at least one person in a positive way.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 22:33:00 -0000

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Jay G — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:58:00 -0000

AD,< />< />What a powerful, touching story.< />< />The next time you're up in TOTWTYTR's neck of the woods, give a holler. < />< />I'll buy the first couple of rounds for everyone (and I don't drink, so built-in designated driver!), and tell you my story.< />< />I won't commit it to print. Not yet...

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

TOTWTYTR — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:58:00 -0000

Bad LT, < />< />Two words. < />< />Inflatable. Sheep.

Re: Anniversaries, Part II

Jay G — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:58:00 -0000